In this episode you will hear a man named Joel tell a story about trying to help a friend with cancer that totally backfired right into his own face, Bryan the Producer talk about the Four Agreements and how they can change your life and a unique look at the Lars Von Trier film “The Idiots” with our friend Adam Ricky.
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Chris opens the show apologizing for the infamous “Prom Faker” story, a story about how he used the Internet to assume the identity of a super-hunk named Drew P., and acting as this person Chris asked a girl to a big high school dance. The girl was excited that Drew P. would ask her to the big high school dance and immediately agreed. But little did she know it was not Drew P., but it was Chris Brake, indeed! What an awful thing to do, right? Chris feels awfully bad about this, and we all ask your forgiveness!
Sarah also confesses an equally-brutal story that she, too, feels bad about: Sarah used to take Super Soaker water pistols with her to high school, and at the end of the day Sarah and her friends would drive by all the students who were walking home and blast the crap out of them with these high-powered H20 guns. What an awful thing to do, right? Sarah feels awfully bad about this, and we all ask your forgiveness!
Sarah’s high school hi-jinx continue with “Pads on the Bus Go Bleed, Bleed Bleed,” a story about how her friends and her used to take women’s sanitary napkins (or “pads” if you’re nasty), fill them with red ink and slap them on the side of the school bus while they were driving to and from school. Sorry, Otto the bus driver! You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty funny though, right?
Chris follows that up with “Howser the Schnauzer’s Foreskin Prank,” a story about a guy named Howser the Schnauzer who used to pull his foreskin through the zipper of his pants and pretend it was just some weird goo. What an awful thing to do, right? Ouch! Chris feels awfully good that he didn’t fall for it or attempt to touch it.
“Beast of Burden” by the Rolling Stones, “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits, “Beverly Hillbillies” by “Weird Al” Yankovic, “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind and “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit are also discussed, and Sarah talks about the time she auditioned for the role of a fairy in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and was turned down.
Joel comes on the line to tell his incredible story about trying to help a female friend with cancer, now known worldwide as the “Cancer Faker” story. Joel worked for an airline and his friend coaxed Joel into marrying her just so she could use his free flight benefits to fly to Europe for cancer treatments. She even set up a website and raked in thousands of dollars in donations from people to help pay for her cancer treatments. But did she ever even have cancer to begin with?
Then we check in with Bryan the Producer down in Florida who tells us about the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ángel Ruiz. In essence, the Four Agreements are:
1) Be impeccable with your word
2) Don’t take anything personally
3) Don’t make assumptions
4) Always do your best
Bryan has used these thing in his own life and says they really do work. Bryan has used the Four Agreements to lose weight and maintain a positive and healthy outlook on life. To quote Bryan himself, “If you want to stop worrying, start living and feel like you are on a moderate dose of cocaine, read the Four Agreements!” Click the picture below to check out the Four Agreements on Amazon.
Then Adam Ricky helps Chris recall their historic discovery of the Lars Von Trier film “The Idiots.” Chris and Adam stumbled upon this film on VHS in the Chicagoland Darien Library, and then went on to use the film as a social experiment that went so far as inserting their own footage into the film and then viewing it with their friends and family, each time insisting it was the first time any of them had seen the film.
Chris then buries a golden nugget deep within this week’s podcast, an announcement that will no doubt shock the world. Chris has secretly been training for over two years for this particular event, and we will speak more about it in the future. Listen to this week’s episode for more secret information! It’s so secret, I cannot write about it here.
And in another stellar “5 Minutes in Capeside” segment, Sarah recalls a specific Dawson’s Creek episode that she saw over at her friend Debbie’s house long ago when they were making a volcano for Science class. Chris confirms that this was Dawson’s Creek, Season 2, Episode 19: “Abby Morgan, Rest in Piece,” an episode where underage drinker Abby Morgan (played by Monica Keena) gets all boozed up and then drowns in the Creek.
And this week’s episode closes out with “Ask Dale J.” where Chris asks the famous Egyptian magician from Trenton, NJ what happened today. This week Dale tells us about the struggles of performing at open mic events, dealing with people who live in bubbles and who enjoy hearing the same Dave Matthews Band and 4-Non Blondes songs over and over and an encounter Dale had today with an extremely rude girl.
CBS Quote of the week: “My mom is a Scorpio,” says Sarah. “Scorpios have the wildest sex. What’s that make you think about your mom?” asks Chris.